Disney-Owned ESPN To Cut Staff: Our Prediction – They’ll Fire The Wrong People

ESPN – wholly owned by mouse-whiskered Disney Corp. – has announced that they are not only losing viewers but also household subscribers. (Subscribers pay the cash part that for years made ESPN a cash cow for Disney.)

With that in mind, ESPN says they will be cutting on-air talent in an effort to cut costs.

Here’s what we say: ESPN will undoubtedly fire the wrong people.

For years ESPN has shown a distinctly tone-deaf ear when it comes to putting talent in front of the camera. Prime example? The goofball adenoidal broadcast host Adnan Virk. Has the voice and personality of a giraffe on coughdrops. Just who does ESPN think they’re appealing to?

Oh. We know. It’s those millions of imaginary hipster doofus sports fans dissembling across the nation that ESPN is trying to enrapt. Those Mountain Dew addicted Taco Bell chomping couch-captured geeks.

Good luck with that mythical demographic base.

Why not do the right thing? How about going for that monumentally untapped audience out there that is craving for Quality Sports Reporting?

You know. Real sports fans. The kind that don’t need gimmicks or gum-smacking pseudo-personalities with built-in baggage injecting their studio assigned supposed slants on the coverage of the day.

Who needs a cueball Seth Greenberg or an aggressively vigorous Dick Vitale shouting “Baby! Baby!” (Vitale’s “Baby!” routine long ago left the crib, grew old and is decaying now in a crypt.)

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It’s time for a re-branding at ESPN. Back to basics. Getting the stories on games. Stop thinking you’re building a brand through personalities.

Just deliver the sports news.

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Do we expect things to improve at ESPN in wake of this recent cost-cutting move? Do we believe execs will hunker down and get back to basics?

Nah.

In fact, the way their heads are screwed on, we figure they’ll pull a Jamie Horowitz.

At an operation like ESPN, when things go bad, they somehow figure out a way to make things worse.

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