What Cam Newton Doesn’t Think Is Funny: Joking About His Illegal Payments From Auburn

Cam Newton is a real cut-up.

Women asking football questions? Man, that’s a whoop!

But there’s one thing Ol’ Cam doesn’t like people joking about: The illegal payments he got from Auburn when they recruited him to play quarterback there.



Since American’s memories are as short as Donald Trump’s attention span, they should be reminded that Auburn recruited Cam to play for them by illegally funneling $180k to Newton through his father, Cecil.

Of course, intrepid NCAA investigated with the rigor of toothless 20 year-old Persian pussycat. When the money trail ended up in some real estate of Cecil Newton then the NCAA declared “All clear!” cause they couldn’t actually put their pussy paws on anything.


So, the dirty, tainted Cam Newton turns into nasty boy when fans bring up those ugly facts of his life and get a good laugh about it.

Cam Newton. Perfect example of what’s despicable about the NFL.

And if you need more, just google for Cam’s meltdown after losing big to Denver in Superbowl 50 in 2016. Whatta hero…


The Most Important (And Ignored) Story Of The College Basketball Scandal

Like most big news stories that break, there is the initial blast. Then come the following angles that media outlets choose to highlight according to their interests.

If the story, as they say, “has legs,” then they’ll keep it going with more follow-ups and horn blowing and attacking the easy targets. Usually, media owners and managers will direct how the story is covered, telling reporters where to go, who to talk to. Often, it will lead away from what really matters about the story and simply take the audience into a dog and pony show to drum up viewers’ emotions and keep them glued breathlessly to their media so they are perpetually staring into their smartphones.

This is the model whether it is CNN or Fox or The New York Times. The model is the same; it’s just skewed toward their different audiences.


Here’s the story you missed about the FBI crackdown on college basketball. It could only be found in some smaller, local news outlets. And it’s important because it undercuts the fundamental structure of how the college sports machine is governed.

The University of Alabama fired a basketball administrator by the name of Kobie Baker.

Why is this important?

Because just 2 years ago Kobie Baker had a very good job with NCAA Headquarters as part of their rules enforcement department. He was put in charge of monitoring college programs to make sure they stuck by the rules set down by the NCAA.

He quit the NCAA for a position in Alabama’s basketball program. Many eyebrows were raised when this happened but not many called it out.

It was a Golden Parachute move. Not unlike when a US Congressman retires to become a money-grubbing lobbyist working for the people he previously had power over.

Well, for former NCAA dude Kobie Baker it didn’t last long.

Money grubbing sucker.

Seems – according to FBI transcripts – that Kobie Baker took $5 grand to steer one of the Alabama basketball players to some sleezy “financial advisor” who would, theoretically, make the kid rich when he hit the NBA.

Hmmm…seems Mssr. Baker, based on his prior employment history, would know this is certainly breaking the rules.

So much for trying to plead ignorance if and when he ever hits the court. (No, not the basketball court. The judicial kind of court.)

And $5000? That’s tip money for Nick Saban’s barber.

It’s a petty, creepy, criminal world out there. Especially when the people who are supposed to be enforcing the rules are the ones breaking them.

Is that what America has become?


When the NCAA that is supposed to be in charge of keeping the entire multi-billion dollar university sports industry clean is full of employees who cheat and are incompetent and even lie under oath (see NCAA Head Emmert’s testimony in Ed O’Bannon case) then it’s no wonder we need the FBI to come in to clean this mess up.

Thank goodness the Feds are doing something right.


Got a different opinion? We’ll be glad to answer and shoot it down like a leaky balloon.

US Open: Sharapova Cheats; Sevastova Beats

In what must be a sweet result for those who care about the game of tennis, Anastasija Sevastova beat Maria Sharapova Sunday in a showdown between a proven cheater and a truly original comeback player from Latvia.

It took 3 sets: 5-7, 6-4, 6-2. And Sharapova pulled out all her disreputable tricks in order to get past Sevastova. But this time, it didn’t work.

When the momentum was definitely turning against Sharapova – losing the second set – she pulled out her old “bathroom break” trick – the same trick she pulled against Halep in the first round when Halep had taken the second set.

Funny. How many top players pull that “bathroom break” shtick at such pivotal moments? And how many pull them when they just WON a set? Never.

Then, throughout the match as Sevastova attempted to serve Sharapova pulled the “wait, I’m turning my back to you while I gather myself” move. How many other players pull this stink move? Only the diva’s, like Sharapova. How many refs call them on this stink delay-of-game move as they are supposed to? None.

Then, in the decisive third set, Sharapova called a trainer to tape her finger causing another long delay.

The fact that all players on the tour know Sharapova pulls these tricks all the time and despise her for it goes unmentioned by announcers who forever fawn over the Maria Machine.

The Maria Meldonium Machine. Taking the same performance enhancement prescription drug that was favored by the cheating Russian Athletic Olympic Machine. For 10 years she took it Meldonium even though its manufacturer says it is not supposed to be taken longer than 6 months. An Rx that is not available anywhere in the world except Latvia. Why? Because no other reputable drug company wants to produce it. Which means Maria, for over 10 years, had a quack write prescriptions for this drug against its manufacturer’s own directives. And then had these drugs shipped across the ocean into the US where she’s lived for most of her adult life.


Isn’t it sweet that the feisty Sevastova, a Latvian, whooped Maria?

Sometimes, justice is served. By a feisty Latvian with a real attitude.

Congrats, Anastasija Sevastova!

Kansas’ Bill Self Never Met A Criminal He Couldn’t Put On The Court

What an exciting win by that Kansas Jayhawk team over the Michigan State Spartans!

And aren’t we glad we weren’t distracted from all that terrific basketball by being reminded that the Kansas b-ball players are involved in the rape of a 16 year old minor in their dorm room?


Or that spectacular Fab Freshman Josh Jackson – constantly touted by CBS announcers – is currently charged with destroying a female University of Kansas basketball player’s car and threatening to beat her up?



Yes, yes, yes. Don’t distract us with all that.

At least that’s what Kansas Coach Bill Self said about his player’s criminal behavior when asked by the press.


And his star player Josh Jackson – taking a cue from his role model and mentor, Bill Self – said the same thing to reporters when questioned about why he wants to beat up female basketball players: He doesn’t want to talk about something that is a distraction to what’s more important – The Big Game.

We jokingly put it this way.

What isn’t a joke is that it was a FEMALE CBS sideline reporter who was given the job to question Josh Jackson on this matter – AND SHE LET HIM OFF.


In the state of Kansas, Bill Self has carte blanche to run rampant over the rules and the law when it comes to college basketball and the farmers don’t care what he does as long as he wins.

Apparently, no one in the world of college basketball cares either.


NCAA Refs: A Criminal Class Act

We saw them in the Northwestern game ignore an arm going up through the basket. And give the game to Gonzaga.

Then we saw them in the Arkansas game review the video and refuse to see what the world saw: A North Carolina hand deflect the ball causing it to go out of bounds with a minute left. Then remarkably refused to call a blatant charge on North Carolina’s next possession.

At that point we knew the fix was in. These NCAA refs are criminally irresponsible.

The NCAA and the referees always have conferences before the games. This much is known.

The favorite teams always get the favored calls.

So far, in every game in the tournament the favored team has been hit with less fouls than the underdog. Figure that one out. What are the possible odds of that happening?

Only when the underdog has undeniably taken advantage will the refs let go of the game – that is, usually.



We always thought it was great for underdogs to win. We always thought it was the American Way for the Little Guy to battle it out and prove that guts and determination can overcome the bullies and the braggarts.

Well, welcome to the New America. In the New America they want the Big Teams to stay big and they want the winners to keep winning and they’re willing to cheat the system to keep it that way.

Need any proof?

Just watch the NCAA Tourney.


Disney-Owned ESPN To Cut Staff: Our Prediction – They’ll Fire The Wrong People

ESPN – wholly owned by mouse-whiskered Disney Corp. – has announced that they are not only losing viewers but also household subscribers. (Subscribers pay the cash part that for years made ESPN a cash cow for Disney.)

With that in mind, ESPN says they will be cutting on-air talent in an effort to cut costs.

Here’s what we say: ESPN will undoubtedly fire the wrong people.

For years ESPN has shown a distinctly tone-deaf ear when it comes to putting talent in front of the camera. Prime example? The goofball adenoidal broadcast host Adnan Virk. Has the voice and personality of a giraffe on coughdrops. Just who does ESPN think they’re appealing to?

Oh. We know. It’s those millions of imaginary hipster doofus sports fans dissembling across the nation that ESPN is trying to enrapt. Those Mountain Dew addicted Taco Bell chomping couch-captured geeks.

Good luck with that mythical demographic base.

Why not do the right thing? How about going for that monumentally untapped audience out there that is craving for Quality Sports Reporting?

You know. Real sports fans. The kind that don’t need gimmicks or gum-smacking pseudo-personalities with built-in baggage injecting their studio assigned supposed slants on the coverage of the day.

Who needs a cueball Seth Greenberg or an aggressively vigorous Dick Vitale shouting “Baby! Baby!” (Vitale’s “Baby!” routine long ago left the crib, grew old and is decaying now in a crypt.)


It’s time for a re-branding at ESPN. Back to basics. Getting the stories on games. Stop thinking you’re building a brand through personalities.

Just deliver the sports news.


Do we expect things to improve at ESPN in wake of this recent cost-cutting move? Do we believe execs will hunker down and get back to basics?


In fact, the way their heads are screwed on, we figure they’ll pull a Jamie Horowitz.

At an operation like ESPN, when things go bad, they somehow figure out a way to make things worse.

Dan Dakich: An Appreciation

The world of color commentators in college basketball is a wasteland of crotchety bald old men who suck and wheeze at the altar of teams like Duke and Kentucky. Dick Vitale weens and creens and screams till his pampers are wet. Jay Bilas does erudite like a pigeon in a pole barn. Bill Raftery’s patented shtick after a big play is a bellowing grunt like a long-constipated warthog.

ESPN and CBS stay with these bald, bellicose announcers out of lazy, obliterated¬† habit. If you had grandfathers like this you’d long ago have pushed them in front of the crosstown bus.

Then there’s Dan Dakich.

Dakich is the lightning rod color commentator who singularly turns a game into an event. His background as a player, coach and commentator is a string of significant diversions away from the what the public usually gets fed from the Pollyanna media elite.

During a recent Michigan State game the entire student section repeated chants of “We hate Dakich” in an attempt to distract opposing basketball players. Why? Because of some previous animated Dakich tweets he’d sent out sparring with MSU fans.

In the Ohio State/Wisconsin game he came out and laughingly stated how much he hated team mascots, and one particular mascot he wanted to “pull off his head and beat him to death with it.”

You’d never hear that from any other announcer. But who hasn’t felt that way about those obnoxious mascots?

What happened? Brutus Buckeye, the Ohio State mascot, came over behind Dakich and started a riotously great routine, giving him backrubs for love and finally sticking his finger in Dakich’s ear. The crowd – and the cameras –¬† loved it. Along with Dakich.

He knows basketball and pulls out the minutiae that make a game more interesting while educating the viewers. And when he goes off on tangents they’re almost always funny. (Very much unlike Dick Vitale who during one game drifted off to talk on and on about football till his partner embarrassingly pulled him back.)

So, thanks to Dan Dakich for really bringing the color back into the color commentator.


Oh, and for those who don’t know, Dakich, playing for Bob Knight’s Hoosiers, single-handedly shut down Michael Jordan in the 1984 NCCA tourney in a masterly defensive effort that introduced the world to his patented “Dakich Defensive Duck Stance.” (Oddly, it never caught on.)

Jordan was so embarrassed by Dakich that he quit college ball and took off for the NBA, where he knew defense was actively discouraged.


Also, while coaching at Bowling Green, Dakich set the record for Quickest Coach’s Ejection From A Game. He was kicked off the court after a mere 120 seconds after drawing 2 technicals from officials.

Dakich wasn’t afraid of expressing himself to referees, either.

And how many sports fans wish they could’ve done the same?